This is gonna be raw…
If you want to defend the status quo, or dodge responsibility, you’ll probably get triggered by this.
I’m writing this for the visionaries, the dreamers, and the positive changemakers.
Let’s just put it all on the table…
I’m so done with distortions.
I’m so done with every mainstream system in place; education, government, economics, healthcare (sick-care), religion, media, the military industrial complex…etc.
I’m so done with how we treat animals, plants and all other sentient beings.
I’m so done with how we treat the Earth we live on.
And I’m so done with the way humans treat each other.
I’m so done with conflict and all the rest of the fear-based behavior.
Yes, I’ve contributed to some of this too. I was born into a system that I didn’t consent to. And mindlessly playing into the collective disharmony was all I knew.
Over the last 12 years, I’ve learned to be someone who sparks positive change, instead of creating more pain in the world. The culmination of this is my upcoming book, A Book For You.
I’ve vowed to harmonize all distortions within and be a lighthouse in this world.
That’s what I choose to focus on. Because complaining and marinating in negative emotions only adds to the disharmony.
We can change the government, the education system, the monetary system and all that. But if we’re still operating from a place of judgment, hate, fear and division, we’ll keep creating different versions of the same problems.
To be honest, most people are in disharmony within themselves. Very few have a high degree of self-mastery (though more and more are coming into this state). Disharmonious people create disharmonious systems and a disharmonious world.
It’s time we get real with ourselves.
It’s time we have the courage to really look within.
We all have fears, trauma, darkness and things that don’t serve our highest good. And until we face it, head on, we will continue to see disharmony in the world.
If you think that someone is your enemy, you’re just creating division. If you think you need to fight, you’re just creating more fighting. If you wish harm upon anyone, you’re infusing more harm into the world.
This is obvious, right? So where’s the disconnect?
RESPONSIBILITY.
Most people don’t want to be responsible for their own thoughts, feelings, words and actions.
That’s why we even have government and authority figures. Because the average person is afraid of total responsibility, so they outsource it to someone who’s willing to tell them what to do. See where this leads?
Even most authority figures always create an enemy to blame. One country blames another country. One religion blames another religion (or blames the devil, when another religion isn’t a convenient enemy). They all play the blame game. And that too, dodges responsibility.
Now, what’s the solution?
It’s actually simpler than you think. Yet it’s the most difficult thing for your responsibility-dodging ego…
Take full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words and actions.
Have the courage to take an objective look at yourself, and bring some awareness to your “not-so-good” patterns.
The interesting thing about positive change is that it happens when you fully accept the current situation as it is. So fully accept yourself, every aspect of yourself, and you create the space to grow into the magnificent being you truly are.
Forgive yourself and let go. Set the intention of being more compassionate, more truthful, more balanced, more peaceful and more joyful. And follow through with it.
Don’t try to change everyone else. Be the best version of you, and lead by example.
The impulse to eliminate evil in others is the very impulse of evil itself. Look at all of the atrocities carried out in the name of “fighting evil.” This mentality, of course, leads to perpetual conflict.
True change happens from the inside out. To deny this reality is to give away your power, and again, dodge responsibility.
Bring awareness to your inner world and your behavior. When you find yourself in disharmony, recognize it and upgrade your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. It’s really that simple. But it requires courage, awareness and dedication.
You will be humbled, but you will grow empowered like never before.
Oftentimes, your biggest emotional triggers are the biggest opportunities to create this awareness. And with awareness, you can choose positive change. You can choose a more blissful, peaceful existence.
For me, my biggest challenge has been my girlfriend’s children. When I first met them, they embodied so many things I used to judge.
And I needed to be aware of my judgment to not unconsciously fall into all of the dysfunction that comes along with it. Needless to say, it was hard to admit how judgmental I was.
On top of that, they have been so angry, disrespectful, manipulative and even violent to their mother and myself. They carry a lot of pain, and think it’s okay to take it out on us. But that’s all they know, so I can’t blame them.
They have good qualities too, of course. And they have been really loving at times. But I had trouble looking past what I judged as “bad.” They were a shock to my system, and I had to grow into a more balanced being myself in order to let go.
Yes, their behavior is often problematic and challenging, but I’m only responsible for my responses. Yes, we can set boundaries with them, and not allow dysfunction to proliferate in our house. But at the end of the day, kids choose their behavior too, no matter what household rules we implement.
So if I waste all of my energy reacting to them, or trying to fight them, I’m only creating more pain and suffering for everyone.
This is the ultimate test. It’s the balance all positive changemakers must find… Embodying the compassionate wisdom to not create conflict, while also embodying the strength to remain unconquered by those who propagate conflict.
If I resist my girlfriend’s children, they react explosively. Yet if I concede to their every demand, the dysfunction proliferates. In the space between – the space of love – I find the balance.
Through their behavior, these kids have taught me how to show compassion always, regardless of circumstance. They have taught me to stay centered and nonreactive amidst utter chaos. They have taught me the balance of kindness and sternness.
They taught me that, if I come from a place of love (instead of resistance), I can simultaneously accept them and create positive change. Just as we can accept ourselves while allowing ourselves to evolve. Just as we can accept the world for what it is, while still being harbingers of a new paradigm.
I invite you to transcend dualistic thinking and see from a higher perspective.
Our greatest challenges can be our greatest gifts, if we choose to be aware and create more harmony.
This is true with everyone and everything in your life.
If you find yourself blaming, take a look within. If you find yourself judging, take a look within. If you find yourself angry, take a look within.
Anything else is outsourcing your power.
Take full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. This is your place of power and your lever for change.
As my friend Brandon Hawk said, “Become the emotional state you want to see in the world.”
Don’t wait for someone to love you before you show love. Be the Source of love. Don’t wait for someone to be nice to you before you can be happy. Be the Source of happiness.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
Change is here, within you.
Wholeheartedly.
~ Stephen Parato
