How do I deal with emotions? How do I manage emotions?
At some point, we all ask ourselves these questions (even if it’s subconscious).
Emotions are such a big component our our daily lives, that we find ourselves chasing the “good” ones and avoiding the “bad” ones.
Emotions are energy in motion; raw energy.
They are energy currents, that can increase or decrease our energy current.
If you think about it, current is a word used for both water and energy. There’s no coincidence there. That’s because emotions have a lot to do with your energy levels.
Here are some examples…
- Ever notice an increase in strength when you feel motivated?
- Ever notice a surge of energy when you get angry, then feel drained afterwards?
- Ever feel as energetic as a child when you experience joy?
- Ever feel a calm sense of empowerment when you’re at peace?
Emotions are currents. Learn to use the current to your advantage. When you master emotions, you master your current.
Now how is this achieved? Awareness.
With awareness, you have the choice. You can let the unhelpful emotions pass, or express them in a healthy way. And you can ride the waves of helpful emotions.
To continue the water theme, emotions come in waves. Everyone has experienced this. It’s even common to say things like, “waves of happiness”, “waves of anxiety”, or “waves of anger”.
Because emotions are like water, and come and go in waves, surfing becomes a useful analogy here.
Surfers are calm and aware, scanning the ocean for waves. They let most waves just pass by them, by floating over them on their surfboard. But when a good wave comes, they ride it.
Mastering emotions is similar. First, you need awareness. You need to see what’s coming. If you don’t, you’ll get pummeled. Most people don’t bring awareness to their emotional ocean, and in doing this, they constantly get blindsided and drowned by waves of emotion.
With awareness, you put yourself in a position to choose. You can choose to let the unhelpful ones pass. And when you see a great wave, you can choose to ride it, enjoying the experience.
I call this emotional surfing.
Let’s make this as practical as possible now.
Many people ask questions about…
- How to release negative emotions
- How to understand emotions
- How to control emotions
- How to manage emotions
2 Steps Of Emotional Mastery
- Awareness
- Healthy Expression
Like I said before, awareness is crucial.
Without awareness, you live life on auto-pilot, running on old habits and a slave to your thoughts and emotions.
There’s a reason why we use the expression, “possessed by anger.” Because it’s unconscious. No one really wants to be angry. It’s no fun. But they can’t help it. There’s unconscious patterns going on. And until awareness is brought to it, it perpetuates on auto-pilot.
With awareness though, you realize your power of choice. And this is the position of mastery.
If you have trouble bringing awareness to your emotions, just take three deep breaths and feel your body. This will help you tune in and feel emotions.
The second step is healthy expression. This means expressing emotions in a way that doesn’t cause harm to yourself or others. You need awareness to do this though, because expressing emotions in a healthy way is a conscious choice.
If you’re feeling angry, first of all, bring it to full awareness. Feel the anger and watch it, instead of getting possessed by it and reacting.
When you bring awareness to the anger, you have a choice. You can go outside and scream. You can lock yourself in your car and scream. You can go for a run. You can take some deep breaths.
This also applies to “positive” emotions. Many people suppress positive emotions too, for a variety of reasons. With awareness, you can express positive emotions in a healthy way.
In bringing awareness to emotions, then expressing what you feel in a healthy way, you learn emotional mastery.
In-joy yourself.
~ Stephen Parato
